1 00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,448 announcer: "The Ms. Pat Show" is filmed 2 00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:13,172 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:13,241 --> 00:00:15,551 - Y'all ever seen a beautiful Black woman 4 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:16,896 who cut off all her hair 5 00:00:16,965 --> 00:00:19,137 and wonder why the bitch went crazy? 6 00:00:19,827 --> 00:00:24,034 Especially when her head is shaped like a big-ass Pop Rock. 7 00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:28,689 Why would any woman wanna walk around like her life work 8 00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:31,241 is to protect rich niggas in Wakanda? 9 00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:37,068 But the older I get, the more I realize 10 00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,068 it's for freedom from what people think you are 11 00:00:40,137 --> 00:00:41,862 and from what you think of yourself. 12 00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:45,000 Every day, y'all, women flock to the Dominican Republic 13 00:00:45,068 --> 00:00:46,586 for a new ass on discount. 14 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:52,068 It takes a lot of work to feel beautiful and worthy. 15 00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,448 But there's only two secrets 16 00:00:53,517 --> 00:00:56,586 to really feeling beautiful and worthy, 17 00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:59,172 go bald and take yo ass to Dominican Republic. 18 00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,793 Ow, Terry! Tender-headed and heavy-handed 19 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,931 don't go together! - I'm--I'm sorry, baby. 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:09,827 I'll be a little bit more gentle. 21 00:01:09,896 --> 00:01:11,000 [doorbell dings] 22 00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:12,034 - Somebody get the door! 23 00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,448 - Junebug, get the door! 24 00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:14,862 - Don't tell me what to do! 25 00:01:14,931 --> 00:01:16,827 - Is anybody getting the door? - Junebug is! 26 00:01:16,896 --> 00:01:18,310 - Junebug ain't. Brandon is. 27 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,827 - Brandon is not! [doorbell dings] 28 00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:22,758 - Stop yelling in my house and get the goddamn door! 29 00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:25,482 - Hey, hey, hey, don't let them kids get you all worked up now. 30 00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:29,000 Our anniversary is coming up, and I'ma need all your energy. 31 00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:30,482 [growls] 32 00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,310 [chuckles] 33 00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:34,862 Hey, I made reservations at your favorite restaurant. 34 00:01:34,931 --> 00:01:37,068 - You got reservations at Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday? 35 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:38,379 You a bad motherfucker. 36 00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:41,034 - No, no, no, no, 37 00:01:41,103 --> 00:01:43,068 we're going to that place you can't pronounce. 38 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:46,344 - Le Pussy Cafe? - It's Le Pous Cafe. 39 00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:50,000 - Oh, I like that place, Le Pussy Cafe. 40 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,931 Aw, hell! Which one of y'all let her in? 41 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,206 - Junebug! - Brandon! 42 00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:54,620 - Janelle! - Well, I ain't no snitch, 43 00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:56,448 so let's just say the Black one. 44 00:01:57,620 --> 00:02:00,896 Happy soon-to-be anniversary, y'all! 45 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:02,379 And, Terry, I see you. 46 00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:05,241 Trying take her hair down so you can grab it later. 47 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:06,724 You so nasty. 48 00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:09,310 - What you want, Denise? 49 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,586 - Well, I came to use y'all kitchen 50 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,172 so I can mix up my new hair serum. 51 00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:13,310 - Oh, you livin' with your man now. 52 00:02:13,379 --> 00:02:14,620 What's wrong with y'all kitchen? 53 00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:17,310 - First off, this is where my staff lives. 54 00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:19,206 And second, Lee can't take the smell. 55 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:21,275 - We don't want to smell octopus ass either. 56 00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:22,586 - Fine. But when Terry finish my hair, 57 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:24,310 I'ma need you to rewash it and re-braid it. 58 00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:25,758 - I got you. 59 00:02:25,827 --> 00:02:27,862 Oh, and you guys might want to burn some candles 60 00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:29,827 before this Black magic bless your nostrils. 61 00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:35,793 - Aw, don't she seem happy now? - She does. 62 00:02:35,862 --> 00:02:38,275 - I just hope she take this business shit serious. 63 00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:39,655 And I'm glad to have her back. 64 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,103 - [chuckles] You missed her, huh? 65 00:02:41,172 --> 00:02:42,482 - Yeah, she like a seat belt beep. 66 00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:43,724 You can't stand the shit, 67 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:45,137 but you can't get it out of your head. 68 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:46,379 - [chuckles] 69 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:47,413 Baby, why don't you just rock 70 00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:48,896 your real hair for a while? 71 00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,931 - I'll rock mine's when you grow yours. 72 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,413 - For real, why you keep wearing all them wigs 73 00:02:53,482 --> 00:02:55,793 when you got all this hair? 74 00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:58,689 I mean, it looks longer than your criminal record. 75 00:02:58,758 --> 00:03:00,586 - You jealous? 'Cause I can buy you a wig 76 00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:02,620 for our anniversary gift if you want me to. 77 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:04,862 - Chill out, girl. [chuckles] 78 00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:06,862 - Don't tell me you want a Brazilian lace-front 79 00:03:06,931 --> 00:03:08,068 so you can be a bad bitch. 80 00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,758 - No, baby, I want what you got. 81 00:03:09,827 --> 00:03:13,172 I want hair like yours, nappy and crunchy. 82 00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:15,517 [chuckles] Wha--wha--what? 83 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,758 Did I pull it too hard again? 84 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:17,793 What's wrong? 85 00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:19,655 - I'll take down my own damn hair. 86 00:03:22,413 --> 00:03:26,206 - Damn, baby. Hey, what did I do? 87 00:03:28,448 --> 00:03:30,655 - ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪ 88 00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:33,241 ♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪ 89 00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:39,000 - Oh, damn! 90 00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:40,137 My product's so thick, 91 00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:41,827 it done broke your mama's mixer. 92 00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:44,000 So you gon' need to put some elbow grease 93 00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:45,931 into that stirring, Niecy. 94 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,413 - All this work I'm doing, 95 00:03:47,482 --> 00:03:50,482 it should be called Denise's Niece's Grease. 96 00:03:50,551 --> 00:03:53,172 - Girl, please. Supervisors don't work. 97 00:03:53,241 --> 00:03:54,517 You think that Madam C.J. Walker 98 00:03:54,586 --> 00:03:56,551 was mixing her own shit? 99 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,724 - Oh, whoa, what in the damn? 100 00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:00,310 That scent is burning my nostrils! 101 00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:03,206 - That's good. It's relaxing your nose hairs. 102 00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:05,206 And plus, this town didn't have 103 00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:06,310 all the ingredients that I need, 104 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,620 so I had to improvise. 105 00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:09,620 I think the only Black hair care product 106 00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:11,482 I found was a Jheri Curl kit. 107 00:04:12,931 --> 00:04:16,034 - Ugh! It smells like a burp farted in here. 108 00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:18,586 Ugh! - Hey, hey, hey, Junebug. 109 00:04:18,655 --> 00:04:20,689 Just the cute lil' nigga I wanted to see! 110 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,379 - What you need, Auntie? 111 00:04:23,448 --> 00:04:25,344 - Well, I wanna do some marketing 112 00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:27,241 for my new hair serum on social media, 113 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,448 but I ain't got no followers. 114 00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:30,241 - Well, you could go live on my account. 115 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,413 You'll reach a bigger audience. 116 00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:33,172 - Perfect! How we gon' do it? 117 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:34,551 - I would film it for you 118 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,241 if Ma and Dad would give me my phone back! 119 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,068 - No! - Hell nah! 120 00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:40,689 - Well now, you could use mine 121 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,724 for the regular price on the low. 122 00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:45,413 - You already got me for a dub today. 123 00:04:45,482 --> 00:04:46,965 - Well, apparently, that's how much 124 00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:49,620 Snapchatting White girls for an hour means to you. 125 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:55,310 - You can use my phone. Just sign into your account. 126 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,827 - Great! Just don't look at my DMs. 127 00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,241 - Don't nobody want to see them mosquito bite titties 128 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,586 them girls be sending you. 129 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:05,689 And, Janelle, I want you to be the face of the brand. 130 00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,000 - Oh, really? - Yeah, I want you 131 00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:08,241 to be my model, yes! 132 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,241 - Well, I have a debate coming up 133 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,413 and they're streaming it, 134 00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:12,275 so, you know, I need to look good. 135 00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:13,379 Does it really work? 136 00:05:13,448 --> 00:05:15,931 - Does it work? Does it work? 137 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:20,413 Did this girl just ask me do it work? 138 00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:22,448 Do you see this? 139 00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:24,448 This is a billion-dollar pro-- 140 00:05:24,517 --> 00:05:27,517 Ooh, shit! I said a billion dollars. 141 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:29,896 Okay, I felt like Rihanna when I said that. 142 00:05:29,965 --> 00:05:31,689 - Okay, yeah. 143 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:35,344 All right, but this Soulja Boy Booger Glue better work. 144 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,172 - Why you walking around with your hair like that? 145 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:44,068 - Who fed you after midnight? 146 00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:50,517 - The same person who ain't gonna feed you again 147 00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:51,896 with your Gremlin-looking ass. 148 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,758 - Why didn't Daddy finish taking your hair out? 149 00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:57,379 - I don't want that man touching me. 150 00:05:57,448 --> 00:05:58,551 - That man? 151 00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,965 You was fine with it two seconds ago. 152 00:06:00,034 --> 00:06:01,517 - Well, I'm not fine with it now. 153 00:06:01,586 --> 00:06:03,275 Finish taking out my hair. 154 00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:04,448 And don't use that cat shit 155 00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:06,413 you got boiling out on the stove. 156 00:06:07,379 --> 00:06:11,586 - Don't diss my product, Pat, 'cause it work on cats too. 157 00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:14,896 - 'Cause they got nine lives. 158 00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:17,413 - What's wrong, Ma? 159 00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:20,931 - Your daddy done called me nappy and crunchy. 160 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,827 - Is that what he said or is that what you heard? 161 00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:25,586 - I know what he said, Denise. 162 00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:28,344 - There's nothing wrong with nappy and kinky. 163 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:31,931 I mean, they're real forms and beautiful textures of hair. 164 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,034 - Thank you, Niggapedia. 165 00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:37,275 - Well, why do you wear fake hair if not to conform 166 00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:39,000 to a European standard of beauty? 167 00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:40,482 - Don't start that George Washington Carver 168 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:41,758 bullshit today. 169 00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:43,551 - Who said anything about peanut butter? 170 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,413 - Apparently, Terry did, the crunchy kind. 171 00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:47,551 - Look, Ma, I'm serious. 172 00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:48,448 I mean, why don't you just wear 173 00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:49,689 your natural hair? 174 00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:51,620 - 'Cause it's too much work. - I do it. 175 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,724 - You don't have a job. I'm a comedian. 176 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,551 If I get on stage with my natural hair, 177 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,793 them fuckin' lights is gonna draw my hair up. 178 00:06:57,862 --> 00:07:00,413 I'ma come up out of that bitch looking like a chia pet. 179 00:07:00,896 --> 00:07:03,482 - Yeah, and I just like to look different on a daily basis. 180 00:07:03,551 --> 00:07:05,448 You know, I feel like my Mood Wigs 181 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:07,034 let people know how I feel. 182 00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:09,379 Like today, I feel like a boss bitch... 183 00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:11,379 [chuckles] 184 00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:12,517 So I wore Barbra. 185 00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,793 - Well, Barbra, this is Shirley. 186 00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:17,896 And can you focus? 187 00:07:17,965 --> 00:07:19,620 'Cause you hurtin' my damn head. 188 00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:22,413 - Look, all I'm saying is 189 00:07:22,482 --> 00:07:24,724 you don't have to always wear fake hair 190 00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:26,448 just to protect it. 191 00:07:26,517 --> 00:07:28,310 - I know I don't have to. I want to. 192 00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:29,482 - But why? 193 00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:31,862 I mean, your hair is beautiful, Ma. 194 00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:34,034 - Tell that to your daddy. 195 00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:36,000 - This ain't got nothing to do with Dad. 196 00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,137 This has to do with you. 197 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,655 - Okay, Janelle. - Ma, I'm serious, okay? 198 00:07:39,724 --> 00:07:41,827 All I'm trying to say is if you wear your natural hair, 199 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,068 you actually might like it. - Let it go, Janelle. 200 00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:45,482 - What? I didn't say nothing wrong. 201 00:07:45,551 --> 00:07:46,379 But if you hear me out, all I'm-- 202 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:48,000 - Let it go! 203 00:07:49,172 --> 00:07:50,413 - Yes, ma'am. 204 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:53,827 - It's okay, Ma. Do what you want. 205 00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:56,137 Men get judged on their hair just like y'all do. 206 00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:57,896 I mean, I don't get play from the ladies 207 00:07:57,965 --> 00:07:59,448 if I don't have the fresh fade 208 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,827 or if I don't shave my beard. 209 00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:05,827 - Come here, son. - Huh? Ow! 210 00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:08,413 - Now, I got more chin hair than you do. 211 00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:12,000 - I'm for real, though, Ma. I know how it feels. 212 00:08:12,068 --> 00:08:14,724 Y'all put a lot of pressure on Black men, 213 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,413 which is why I understand 214 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:18,896 why we like to have an opinion on our women's hair. 215 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,586 Ain't that right, Brandon? 216 00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:25,827 - Oh, you ain't finna get me neutered. 217 00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:31,241 - Boy, you don't know what the hell you talking about. 218 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,344 Ain't no man gon' tell me nothing about my hair. 219 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,620 Not the hair that I buy 220 00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:36,758 or not the hair that I grow, okay? 221 00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:39,310 They barely know how to wash they ass correctly. 222 00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:41,137 - I know that's right. Then they got the nerve 223 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:42,275 to ask you to eat it. 224 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,586 So this ain't no safe place no more? 225 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,931 - [grunts] 226 00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:10,275 I want to be sorry, baby, but you gotta tell me 227 00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:13,103 what to be sorry for so I can be sorry for it. 228 00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:15,586 - That's some sorry shit, Terry. 229 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,241 - I'm sorry? - Go to sleep. 230 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,655 - Well, uh, I can give you something 231 00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:22,965 to help you sleep a little easy. 232 00:09:23,034 --> 00:09:26,068 A little anniversary appetizer. 233 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:29,034 A little Terry pu-pu platter. 234 00:09:29,103 --> 00:09:31,103 - Don't nobody want no pu-pu platter. 235 00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:33,103 Read the room! 236 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,689 - I can't read it if you don't give me the book. 237 00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:36,965 - I shouldn't have to get you a book 238 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,275 for you to fuckin' know that you-- 239 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:41,000 You know what? Fuck the anniversary dinner. 240 00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:43,517 I don't want to go to that pussy place anyway. 241 00:09:43,586 --> 00:09:46,206 - Baby. 242 00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:47,620 - I don't want to celebrate with nobody 243 00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:48,931 who don't know when they hurt me. 244 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,655 - Hurt you? Baby, how did I hurt you? 245 00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:53,137 Pat, what the hell are you talking about? 246 00:09:53,206 --> 00:09:55,103 - Talkin' about some pu-pu platter. 247 00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,620 Pu-pu my ass. 248 00:09:56,689 --> 00:09:59,000 - Oh. Whatever, man. 249 00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:05,068 - You know you're too big for that space, right? 250 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:07,137 - I don't tell you what you too big for. 251 00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:14,931 [flushes toilet] 252 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,758 [water running] 253 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,862 - Ouch, Ma! Ow, ow, ow, ow! 254 00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,896 - Hold still before I break your neck. 255 00:10:38,965 --> 00:10:41,137 - Stop crying, PatPat. It's almost over. 256 00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:42,137 - But, it hurts! 257 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,344 - So does my hand 258 00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:45,344 from having to comb this shit! 259 00:10:45,413 --> 00:10:48,793 Why can't your hair be soft like your sister's? 260 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:51,000 - I wish I had hair like Denise. 261 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:54,000 Ow! I don't want nappy hair. 262 00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:56,137 - Well, see, girl, this is what I get 263 00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:58,448 for fucking her nappy-headed-ass daddy. 264 00:10:58,517 --> 00:11:00,137 Gave that man everything, 265 00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:02,586 and he just gon' leave me alone like I ain't shit! 266 00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:06,793 Now, Denise's daddy, he had a beautiful everything 267 00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:08,862 and knew what do with it. 268 00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:11,827 Why I let him fuck me? 269 00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,896 Nuh-uh, baby, let's get one thing straight. 270 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,551 Pat's daddy ain't fucked me. 271 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,172 I fucked Pat's daddy! [chuckles] 272 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,965 Shoulda never messed with that motherfucker, 273 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:22,655 'cause now here I am dealing with this shit. 274 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,241 - Your hair is as pretty as mine. 275 00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:28,068 - Girl, I'll beat your ass lying to your sister like that. 276 00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:32,689 - [sighs] 277 00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:38,896 - Did you guys hear Mom called off 278 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,241 her anniversary dinner? 279 00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:41,413 - Janelle, would you stay 280 00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:42,482 out of their business 281 00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:44,931 and stay focused on my business. 282 00:11:46,137 --> 00:11:49,896 Here, that's for you. Okay. 283 00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,655 Now, it's time to make this money. 284 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,310 Okay, try to keep the camera on my good side. 285 00:11:57,379 --> 00:11:58,758 - The back of your head? 286 00:11:58,827 --> 00:12:01,000 - You gon' catch the back of this hand. 287 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,827 And don't scroll through none of my pictures 288 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:05,034 or you gon' see something you don't wanna see. 289 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,827 - Don't nobody want to see 290 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,965 them Chick-O-Stick penises them men be sending you. 291 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,275 - Okay, uh, le-- let's just get this over with. 292 00:12:14,344 --> 00:12:15,689 - Okay. 293 00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:21,724 We are live on Instagram in five, four, three, two-- 294 00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:24,827 - Hey, my sisters! How y'all doing? 295 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:27,758 I'm Denise Ford, the owner-creator 296 00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:31,275 of the soon-to-be Fortune 500 company 297 00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:32,862 Denise Grease. 298 00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,689 Watch out now, Shea Moisture, 299 00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:36,000 'cause shea comin' for you. 300 00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:37,344 - Ooh. - [laughs] 301 00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:38,793 It's the pun for me. 302 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,793 But let me just introduce y'all to my new product. 303 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:45,206 Bam, Good Grief Bald Spot Relief, 304 00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:47,620 designed to celebrate growth. 305 00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:53,517 Now, ladies, I know that life can be stressful 306 00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:57,275 when we lose the things that are most important to us. 307 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,137 But that's why I'm here, 308 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:02,482 to help you fill in the empty spots of your life. 309 00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:07,448 With what? Bam! Good Grief Bald Spot Relief 310 00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:08,793 for hair growth. 311 00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:10,793 'Cause it is time for you hoes 312 00:13:10,862 --> 00:13:13,000 to start filling in them potholes. 313 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,068 Now, let me show y'all how this works. 314 00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:17,896 - Whoo, Jesus Jerome Christ! 315 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,448 - Huh? Hey! ♪ Oh, glory! ♪ 316 00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,862 Okay! 317 00:13:22,931 --> 00:13:24,689 Did you see her catch the Holy Ghost? 318 00:13:24,758 --> 00:13:27,689 Okay, 'cause I'm telling you my stuff is anointed. 319 00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:28,793 Ain't that right? 320 00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:31,034 - Mm-hmm. Yes, yes, that is right. 321 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:37,551 Uh, sorry, uh, uh, Goo--Good Grief Bald Spot, uh-- 322 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,172 - Relief! - Relief. 323 00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:41,931 It's so top notch, you can really smell the-- 324 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,551 the quality of the ingredients. 325 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,827 - Yes. And all Denise Greases are a multifunctional product. 326 00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:51,379 Yeah, the label, it's real easy to read unless you can't read. 327 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,931 Then it's probably still gon' be hard for you. 328 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,137 But it helps your hair grow, 329 00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:59,827 stay in place, retain heat, and retain moisture, 330 00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:02,137 all at the same time. 331 00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:04,034 Because let me tell you, it binds 332 00:14:04,103 --> 00:14:06,862 with the coagulant of the molecule 333 00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:08,827 and the dermal layer and whatnot. 334 00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,793 [laughs] That's science, y'all! 335 00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:12,413 Ask my nigga Bill Nye. 336 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,310 - Hey, Ma. - I'm busy. 337 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:19,896 - Okay, I'm just here to talk to you, 338 00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:22,034 but it's not for me. It's for Dad. 339 00:14:22,103 --> 00:14:24,068 - So what are you, his carrier pigeon now? 340 00:14:24,137 --> 00:14:25,620 - Well, he asked Janelle to talk to you, 341 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,448 but she's down there helping out Denise, 342 00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,965 so she asked me to talk to you for her, for Dad. 343 00:14:30,034 --> 00:14:32,551 - I can see why you wasn't his first choice. 344 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,137 - Look, Terry still wants to take you out 345 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,172 for your anniversary. 346 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,620 - What that got to do with me? 347 00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:38,137 - 'Cause he want to know why you still mad at him. 348 00:14:38,206 --> 00:14:40,758 - 'Cause he called me nappy! - Yeah? 349 00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:42,000 - And crunchy! 350 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,827 You don't talk about a woman's hair, 351 00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:45,344 especially not mine's! 352 00:14:45,413 --> 00:14:47,310 I been hearing that shit my whole life! 353 00:14:47,379 --> 00:14:48,620 - Okay. But, Ma, 354 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:51,068 was he trying to be mean or was he just joking? 355 00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,896 - What are you trying to say? 356 00:14:52,965 --> 00:14:55,551 - Okay, please understand 357 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:58,241 that I am scared to death of you right now. 358 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:01,793 And I hope you recognize the courage that it's taking me 359 00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:04,344 to say what I'm about to say. 360 00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:07,034 But, Ma, I was-- I was just wondering-- 361 00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:08,206 - Spit it out! 362 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,034 - Is it possible this has less to do about Dad 363 00:15:11,103 --> 00:15:12,275 and more about you and your past? 364 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,344 - Get the fuck out of my room. 365 00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:24,448 Brandon, you let your daddy know 366 00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:26,931 I'll go to dinner with him, but it's for food. 367 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,206 No lovey-dovey shit. 368 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:31,586 - Yes! All right. I mean, cool. 369 00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:33,034 Hey, Ma, um, 370 00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,586 thank you for allowing me to be 371 00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:37,241 the first Black kid in history to tell his mother 372 00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,517 that she was wrong and still be living. 373 00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:41,551 - Don't be the last. 374 00:15:45,482 --> 00:15:49,068 - Wow, this actually feels like-- 375 00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:52,241 - Fantabulous? [chuckles] Orgasmic? 376 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,931 Better than a crack high? 377 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,068 - I don't think so. 378 00:15:56,137 --> 00:15:58,482 Her face looks like it wants to call 911. 379 00:15:58,551 --> 00:16:03,379 - It feels like babies are running on my scalp. 380 00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:06,344 Angry little babies holding knives 381 00:16:06,413 --> 00:16:08,862 and stabbing me in my head. 382 00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:10,758 Uh, but in a good way. 383 00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,310 [chuckles weakly] 384 00:16:12,379 --> 00:16:14,413 - Yeah. See, the--see, the baby feet, 385 00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:15,965 that mean that it's working. 386 00:16:16,034 --> 00:16:17,620 [chuckles] 387 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:19,137 'Cause the whatchamacallit gotta get down 388 00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:20,413 to the epidermis, and that's where 389 00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:21,931 those follicles be sleepin' at. 390 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,275 You know? [laughs] 391 00:16:23,344 --> 00:16:24,482 'Cause I guarantee you this, 392 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,310 it'll pimp-slap your follicles 393 00:16:26,379 --> 00:16:29,172 like a hoe who came back empty handed. 394 00:16:34,931 --> 00:16:36,344 - She ain't empty handed. 395 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,862 - What? 396 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,275 What just happened? 397 00:16:41,827 --> 00:16:43,068 What is she holding? 398 00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:45,586 - Girl, would you calm down? Okay? 399 00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,103 - [screams] 400 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,275 Oh, my God! What the hell? 401 00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:51,034 Junebug, stop the live! 402 00:16:51,103 --> 00:16:53,965 - Oh, uh-uh-uh. We got 11,000 viewers! 403 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,310 Oh, I'm going viral! 404 00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:57,551 - [sobbing] - Okay, let's go! 405 00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,896 Keep rolling, Junebug. Okay, y'all. 406 00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:03,724 Okay, that was her dead hair, and we had to get rid of that. 407 00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:05,862 But let me tell you something, I got another product. 408 00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:09,000 Okay. Okay, now, this one is meant to expedite hair. 409 00:17:09,551 --> 00:17:11,103 Okay, you ain't ready for this one. 410 00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:13,379 Okay, bam! That's a Boo-Rag. 411 00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:17,586 Okay, that is a bonnet and a durag. 412 00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:21,586 It's perfect for y'all long, nape-necked bitches. 413 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:32,896 - Ooh, Pat, we gon' step on these bitches' necks tonight! 414 00:17:32,965 --> 00:17:34,482 - Ugh, this shit's stupid! 415 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,103 - Where the hell you come from? 416 00:17:37,172 --> 00:17:40,689 - Whoa, you're pretty. 417 00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:41,965 - Really? 418 00:17:42,034 --> 00:17:43,482 - Mm-hmm. 419 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,896 - You pretty too, baby. 420 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,413 - You got jokes. 421 00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:50,724 - Why don't you think you pretty? 422 00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:52,310 - 'Cause I don't got hair like yours? 423 00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:53,620 - You think this is my hair? 424 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,862 - You don't think it looks good? 425 00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,586 - Yeah, but it's not my hair. 426 00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,689 - I hate my hair. 427 00:17:59,758 --> 00:18:01,482 I hate all of me. 428 00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,275 - You shouldn't feel like that. 429 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,827 - Isn't that the way you feel? 430 00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,103 I will never be like Denise. 431 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,172 I'll never be pretty. 432 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:15,068 - We have to stop this. - Stop what? 433 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,068 - Thinking we're not pretty 'cause she say we're not. 434 00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:19,482 We're beautiful. 435 00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:24,000 - You really believe that? 436 00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,448 - I want to. 437 00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:29,034 - Yeah. 438 00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:31,034 Pat? 439 00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,827 Oh, it's you. 440 00:18:32,896 --> 00:18:35,827 - Why everybody say that when I show up? 441 00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:37,137 - Where's your mom? 442 00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:38,310 - Oh, she said she'll meet you there. 443 00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:39,275 - What you mean, meet me there? 444 00:18:39,344 --> 00:18:40,344 Didn't you even talk to her? 445 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:42,448 - She will be there, trust me. 446 00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:45,275 I'm the woman whisperer, man. Come on. 447 00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:47,103 - What woman you been whispering to? 448 00:18:47,172 --> 00:18:48,275 - Well, the one I hooked up with 449 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,896 in my basement last Friday. 450 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,724 - You did not. - You right. 451 00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:57,931 But I was close. - No, you weren't. 452 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,896 - You right. 453 00:19:00,655 --> 00:19:02,931 Now, get going. - Fine, fine, fine. 454 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,931 I'ma celebrate my anniversary with or without her! 455 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,448 But make sure it ain't without her. 456 00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,965 - Hey, listen, man, either way, after 25 years, 457 00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:11,275 you gotta turn up 458 00:19:11,344 --> 00:19:12,620 for not leaving Mom for a quieter woman. 459 00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:15,275 - I still think about it. 460 00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:21,482 [classical music playing] 461 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,620 - Are you ready to order, sir, 462 00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,793 or are you still pretending you have a date? 463 00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:28,689 - I do have a date. 464 00:19:28,758 --> 00:19:31,448 - Buddy, we get guys in here who get stood up all the time. 465 00:19:31,517 --> 00:19:33,620 It's okay. She probably walked in, 466 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,448 saw that you looked nothing like your photos, 467 00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:37,724 and took her ass back home. I get it, bro. 468 00:19:37,793 --> 00:19:40,827 - Look, that's not--[chuckles] I'm married, man. 469 00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:41,862 - And you're cheating on your wife? 470 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,379 - No! 471 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,620 Look, my wife's on her way, okay? 472 00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:47,724 Just, uh--just go about your business. 473 00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:52,896 - Cheater at table six! 474 00:19:55,655 --> 00:19:58,310 - Who the hell you cheating on me with? 475 00:20:00,482 --> 00:20:01,689 You gon' pull the chair out 476 00:20:01,758 --> 00:20:04,206 or you gon' stare at me like I'm a rib? 477 00:20:05,379 --> 00:20:07,482 - You look stunning. - Whatever. 478 00:20:07,551 --> 00:20:09,724 I said no lovey-dovey shit. 479 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:14,586 - Well, you look as beautiful as the day I first met you. 480 00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:17,034 - You thought I was nappy and crunchy back then, too? 481 00:20:17,103 --> 00:20:18,862 - Listen, I-- - You hurt me. 482 00:20:18,931 --> 00:20:22,482 - I would--I would never--- - You hurt me, but it's okay. 483 00:20:22,551 --> 00:20:26,275 I'm not mad at you. - You're not mad? 484 00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:29,034 - No, I'm mad at my past. 485 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,448 - Tell me, baby. 486 00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:31,827 - Every day, my mama would say 487 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:34,862 I'm a Black this and a nappy and a ugly that, 488 00:20:34,931 --> 00:20:36,758 all because I didn't have hair like Denise. 489 00:20:36,827 --> 00:20:38,000 - You mean to tell me Denise wasn't born 490 00:20:38,068 --> 00:20:39,620 in a lace-front? 491 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:43,000 - I needed someone to blame, and I blamed you. 492 00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:45,482 - Sounds like your mama was the one to blame. 493 00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:48,241 - Yeah, but God killed her, so you was next. 494 00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:50,172 - [sighs] 495 00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:53,724 I'm sorry I added to that. 496 00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:54,896 - It's okay. 497 00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:58,068 I just got a lot of work to do on myself. 498 00:20:58,137 --> 00:21:00,793 - Hmm. For real, though, 499 00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,448 I never meant to call you anything lesser 500 00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:05,862 than what you are, baby-- immaculate. 501 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,206 I will love you when we have no hair-- 502 00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:11,379 - Yours went first. 503 00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:13,275 - No teeth-- 504 00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:16,482 - Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you? 505 00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:18,482 - Blind, can't walk-- 506 00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:20,620 - Hmm, what about when my titties fall down 507 00:21:20,689 --> 00:21:22,724 to my behind and I got a goose neck? 508 00:21:22,793 --> 00:21:24,862 - I'll pick up that neck and kiss it. 509 00:21:24,931 --> 00:21:27,827 [laughs] 510 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:30,275 Happy anniversary, baby. 511 00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:33,034 - You're really trying to get some tonight? 512 00:21:33,103 --> 00:21:34,620 - You damn right! 513 00:21:37,689 --> 00:21:39,344 Come on. 514 00:21:39,413 --> 00:21:41,965 Yeah. See that? 515 00:21:45,206 --> 00:21:47,689 - I know I said no lovey-dovey shit, but keep going. 516 00:21:47,758 --> 00:21:51,137 - [chuckles] 517 00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:52,655 - I have a gift for you, too. 518 00:21:52,724 --> 00:21:56,034 - You do? What'd you get me? 519 00:21:56,931 --> 00:21:59,310 - Something you been talkin' about a lot lately. 520 00:21:59,379 --> 00:22:01,827 Something you ain't had in a while. 521 00:22:01,896 --> 00:22:04,310 And it's something that's gonna make you feel like a new man. 522 00:22:04,379 --> 00:22:07,034 - Huh? All right. 523 00:22:09,275 --> 00:22:11,344 - Every king deserve his crown. 524 00:22:12,068 --> 00:22:14,172 - [chuckles] 525 00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:18,758 Ahh, "A toupee for my bae. 526 00:22:18,827 --> 00:22:21,172 Now you know how it feels." Hmm. 527 00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:25,724 "The wig is synthetic, but my love is real." 528 00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:29,620 Huh. - Happy anniversary, baby. 529 00:22:34,448 --> 00:22:36,068 [chuckles] - All power to the people. 530 00:22:37,896 --> 00:22:39,068 [chuckles] 531 00:22:43,172 --> 00:22:44,482 Shit. 532 00:22:44,551 --> 00:22:47,655 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 533 00:22:47,724 --> 00:22:49,000 Check! 534 00:22:52,586 --> 00:22:54,172 - Denise already got you high. 535 00:22:54,241 --> 00:22:56,482 I don't know why you would try her product in the first place. 536 00:22:56,551 --> 00:22:58,655 - Well, because I missed her. 537 00:22:58,724 --> 00:23:00,689 And I was trying to support Black businesses. 538 00:23:00,758 --> 00:23:03,000 - Child, there's a difference between Black business 539 00:23:03,068 --> 00:23:04,172 and nigga business. 540 00:23:04,241 --> 00:23:06,000 And niggas don't need no support. 541 00:23:06,068 --> 00:23:08,793 Now I gotta put a damn track in your hair. 542 00:23:08,862 --> 00:23:12,068 - But what about my debate? I'm gonna look ridiculous. 543 00:23:12,137 --> 00:23:13,931 Ow. - Calm down. 544 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,482 Bald bitches are in now. 545 00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:18,137 - Hey, y'all. 546 00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:23,137 Well, okay, now we know that we had a bad batch. 547 00:23:23,206 --> 00:23:25,896 The government does it all the time with vaccines. 548 00:23:27,758 --> 00:23:30,034 But I promise it'll be new and improved 549 00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:31,103 by our next tutorial. 550 00:23:31,172 --> 00:23:32,965 - Next tutorial? 551 00:23:33,034 --> 00:23:35,931 Your mind must be where my hair is--gone. 552 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,344 You got me looking like I'm moving on up to the east side. 553 00:23:39,413 --> 00:23:42,344 - Look, I know your auntie done fucked up your head-- 554 00:23:42,413 --> 00:23:45,068 - It's gonna grow back fuller, watch. 555 00:23:45,137 --> 00:23:47,448 - But like you told me earlier, no matter 556 00:23:47,517 --> 00:23:51,000 if it's natural hair, wigs, or weave, 557 00:23:51,068 --> 00:23:53,689 or whatever the fuck she done did to your head, 558 00:23:55,448 --> 00:23:57,620 you still a beautiful Black woman. 559 00:23:57,689 --> 00:23:59,724 And I love you. 560 00:23:59,793 --> 00:24:01,655 - Mama, stop stealing 561 00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:03,517 my George Washington Carver talk. 562 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,517 - Go let Denise get you a wig 563 00:24:06,586 --> 00:24:07,689 before I fucking write a joke 564 00:24:07,758 --> 00:24:09,172 about these potholes in your head. 565 00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:12,137 - [laughs] Yes, Niecy, I got the perfect wig for you. 566 00:24:12,206 --> 00:24:13,862 Now, listen, when you put this on, 567 00:24:13,931 --> 00:24:15,551 you gotta show up and show off 'cause you representing me. 568 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:16,827 both: Okay. 569 00:24:25,448 --> 00:24:26,758 - Rabbit! Get your ass in this kitchen 570 00:24:26,827 --> 00:24:28,448 and wash these dishes! 571 00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:43,000 - Tell her she pretty. 572 00:24:43,068 --> 00:24:44,206 - What? 573 00:24:45,482 --> 00:24:46,862 - Tell her she pretty. 574 00:24:49,241 --> 00:24:50,827 - Fuck you. 575 00:24:53,137 --> 00:24:56,137 - [chuckles] 576 00:24:57,689 --> 00:24:59,482 That's why you're dead, bitch! 577 00:25:07,551 --> 00:25:09,551 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 578 00:25:09,620 --> 00:25:11,724 ♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪ 579 00:25:11,793 --> 00:25:13,689 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 580 00:25:13,758 --> 00:25:16,000 ♪ And you can't get enough ♪ 581 00:25:16,068 --> 00:25:18,103 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 582 00:25:18,172 --> 00:25:20,448 ♪ With a husband and kids ♪ 583 00:25:20,517 --> 00:25:23,586 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 584 00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:27,448 ♪ And it's the Ms. Pat Show ♪ 585 00:25:27,517 --> 00:25:29,068 ♪ ♪